


Mend My Changing Heart

by madamelibrarian, Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Series: Loving Heart [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arguing, Injured Sam Winchester, M/M, Mild Gore, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 22:43:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7380352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam faces his mortality. So just another day for a hunter, but what about the Angel’s he loves?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mend My Changing Heart

“Dean, dammit. I’m fine.” Sam grunted as he pressed his gauze filled hand against the werewolf scratches on his thigh. Well, not so much scratches as gashes, either way it would be a night of painkillers and stitches.

“Like hell you are.” Dean growled as he dropped the first aid kit on the Impala’s seat beside his brother. He’d driven the both out of the county they’d been hunting in, like the hounds of hell were chasing them. Dean pulled the heavy duty scissors out of the kit and cuts away the fabric. When he pulled Sam’s hand away from the wound, the younger hunter pales as a fresh fount of blood squirts up into the air. “Son of a bitch! He must have got an artery.”

“Hospital.” Sam said weakly as he blinked to stay focused on Dean.

“No, not when we got dial an angel. Besides, they’d rip me apart if I didn’t call.” Dean said as he pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Don’t… worry them.” Sam said as he lost consciousness.

“SAM!” Dean shouted as the phone rang Lucifer’s line. He reached over and slapped at Sam’s cheeks to rouse him. “Wake up, Sammy.”

Lucifer picked up. “Dean? Dean, what’s going on?”

“Get your feathered ass to us. Sam’s bleeding out and there’s no time to take him to a hospital.” Dean explained quickly, his voice rising in barely veiled panic.

“On my way.” Lucifer hung up and looked at Gabriel. “Sam’s bleeding out. I got a marker on his location. Let’s go.” With that he took off and landed in the backseat of the Impala. “What got him?”

Gabriel didn’t have time to do anything but follow and landing neatly in the front seat. “Merciful Father.” He whispered when he saw all the blood.

“Werewolf. Told him to not get so close but he wanted to beat the setting of the moon. Last in the cycle.” Dean looked at the angels expectantly. “Can you heal him?”

Lucifer nodded and looked at Gabriel. “You start from the bottom, I from the top, meet in the middle?” He asked, already accessing his Grace.

Gabriel nodded. “Watch out for doggie bugs.” He quickly moved out of the car so he was standing in the open door where Dean was seated. “Hold still Deano.” Gabriel leaned over the older hunter and took hold of Sam’s bare ankle and concentrated, letting his grace flow in a steady healing trickle instead of going full force. It was damned tricky to heal humans as an Archangel. Too much juice and you turn them into chunky monkey soup but too little and it was not better than bandages.

Lucifer also was careful not to shove too much healing power into Sam as he worked from the hunter’s head, concentrating. His heart raced at seeing Sam so lifeless in the back seat of the Impala, triggering his protective instinct to the max. “What have I told you about being reckless, Sam?” He murmured in Enochian as he healed his boyfriend.

“Not to be. If I recall.” Gabriel answered for him, also slipping into Enochian.

“Like he listens.” Lucifer muttered, working on his shoulders now. Anxiety spiked through him at the mere thought of losing him.

“What are you two talking about?” Dean asked as he listened to the two of them. He was worried that there was something going wrong, and that’s why they weren’t speaking English around him.

Gabriel took a moment to glance up at the older hunter. “Don’t worry, Deano. Just gossip around the sewing circle.”

“Well quit the gossipin’ and get sewing.” Dean growled at him.

“We’re working on it, Dean,” Lucifer said simply. He got to the part where the werewolf had sliced into Sam and looked at Gabriel. “Ready?”

“Whenever you are. But I’m worried about the werewolf passing to him. It feels different than any I’ve felt before and he’s not been bitten.” Gabriel moved his hands to brace just under the wound, his fingers slipping in the blood.

Lucifer cocked his head to the side. “Alpha, maybe?” He asked quietly. He placed his hand over his brother’s.

“I hope not.” Gabriel muttered as he concentrated on his grace, pushing a tad harder than he dared before.

Lucifer did the same thing, grimacing as he worked. He found the werewolf inside of Sam and gritted his teeth. “Gabe. Out.” He ordered.

Gabriel jerked his hands away and backed out of the car, taking Dean with him. Dean let out a shout and struggled with him. Gabriel slammed him against the side of the car, pinning him in place. “Let him WORK, Dean. Or we may lose your brother to more than blood loss.”

“What?” Dean looked lost as he stared into the car. “But.. it’s just a wound, right?”

“It’s more than that. The werewolf was different, and he has to purge Sam of the infection or we’ll be adding chew toys and a doggie bed to the nest.” Gabriel said quietly so as to not interrupt Lucifer. “If you want to be useful, pray we can stop it.”

Lucifer struggled and fought with the infection, swearing under his breath in Enochian as his protective instincts took over and he went on autopilot. The part of his Grace that wasn’t fighting the werewolf soothed Sam’s soul, told it he was here, that he was getting rid of it. Sweat beaded his brow as he finally forced the infection out of Sam’s body. “Dean, eyes, closed,” he ordered as his Grace seeped through his Vessel to crush the threat.

“Shit.” Dean swore as he threw his arm over his eyes and turned his back to his brother and Lucifer.

Gabriel bent down to watch the process closely. Ready to step in if either Sam or Lucifer needed him.

Lucifer crushed the infection without too much trouble, using a little tendril of Grace to finish Sam’s healing before nearly collapsing next to him.

Gabriel patted Dean on the shoulder to give him the all clear, then round the car to go to Lucifer. “Heylel, are you two all right?”

Lucifer nodded and took a deep breath. “We’re okay. Just need rest.” he breathed.

He kissed his brother’s cheek and stroked the top of Sam’s head. “Then you rest. I’ll get us and this metal beast home.”

“Hey, she’s a lady. Not a beast.” Dean protested as he checked Sam over.

Lucifer smiled sleepily and fell asleep.

Gabriel and Dean made sure both passengers were comfortable before Gabriel gestured for Dean to get behind the wheel. “This might be a little bumpy but I’ll get us home.”

“Don’t you dare scratch her.” Dean warned as he slipped into his seat.

Gabriel smirked as he secured the doors and laid his hand on the roof, taking a moment to tease the older hunter. “Does Cas know you invited a third into your relationship?”

“Bite me, you gumdrop sucking menace.” Dean grumbled as the group disappeared from the rural setting, leaving no trace but a faint set of tire tracks in the gravel on the side of the road.

*******

Lucifer awoke slowly, groaning softly as he snuggled deeper into the nearest body- Sam, that was Sam’s body, and Dean was curled up behind him, Gabriel behind Sam, and Castiel looking confused at the dogpile of angels and Winchesters. The eldest yawned and nuzzled his face into Sam’s neck. “Morning, Castiel.” he moaned.

“I wasn’t aware we were sleeping over last night or I would have joined you.” Castiel said as he sat at the foot of the nest. “I’ve missed the.. companionship at times.”

Lucifer groaned and cracked his neck. “I wasn’t aware either,” he admitted, rubbing his eyes. “Blame Dean for that one.”

Castiel knew that since his brothers had become intimate with Sam, Dean was reluctant to spend time in the nest. Something about sanitary conditions, so for him to willing sleep there with sheets and blankets he knew hadn’t been changed was peculiar. “What happened?”

Lucifer cracked his back and popped a wing joint before answering his littlest brother. “Sam got hurt last night. Badly.” he whispered. “The hunt didn’t go as cleanly as they thought. The werewolf passed something onto him, despite there being no bite. I got in and got it out, but… it wore me out. I fell asleep.”

“That is strange. Most of all it was so taxing that you needed rest.” Castiel stood from his spot and rounded the nest to come to Lucifer’s side and resting a hand on his forehead. “Are you well now?”

“I’m better.” Lucifer admitted, looking up at Castiel. “Sam…. I don’t know. We’ll see when he wakes up.”

“He will be fine, Lucifer.” Castiel assured him as he sat on the edge of the nest behind Dean. “Winchester’s are resilient if nothing else.”

Lucifer nodded and sighed. “I know. Just… protective instincts I guess.”

“And that he is the first human you’ve loved.” Castiel smiled fondly at his brother. “Sometimes if find myself fearful of what may happen when Dean goes on a hunt or even leaves my side. Humans are fragile and fleeting in life when compared to us. But what I must remind myself of is that even if they die in this world, we have eternity in heaven.”

“That’s still a depressing thought.” Lucifer chuckled, looking up at his brother with equal fondness. “Unless we become bonded to them.”

“True.” Castiel looked down at Dean’s sleeping form with a frown. “He rejected my offer to bond. So I must treasure each day I have by his side.”

Lucifer frowned and sighed. “Gabriel and I have yet to ask Sam if he would like to bond with us.” he admitted.

“Do you wish to?” Castiel looked up curiously.

“Yes.” Lucifer confessed. “I really do.”

“Then you should ask him.” Castiel stood from the bed and straightened his overcoat. “In the meantime, I’ll get everyone some breakfast. Call me if you have need.”

“Of course.” Lucifer murmured, snuggling his face into Sam’s neck.

Castiel disappeared with the snapping sound of wings in flight. Just then, Dean murmured behind Lucifer and rolled over, pressing the length of his body against the angel’s back with his arm snaking around his waist. His dreams turning towards a certain brunette angel and quickly falling into less than innocent imagery.

Lucifer smiled and relaxed into Dean and Sam.

Dean groaned once more, rolling his hips against Lucifer and pressing his erection against the angel’s ass. “Cas.” he sighed in his sleep.

“Yes, Dean?” Lucifer murmured sleepily.

The hunter kissed the nape of Lucifer’s neck. “Cas.” he whispered again while his hand rubbed small circles on Lucifer’s stomach.

“Ummm…. Dean?” Lucifer asked a little louder.

Dean woke with a small groan but didn’t open his eyes. His mind still half in his dream and the other half slowly rising to consciousness. “Need it, baby.” He murmured as he continued to rut against Lucifer.

“Ummm, Dean? I think you got the wrong angel…” Lucifer mentioned. “As flattering as this is.”

With a sharp inhale, Dean blinked open his eyes and pulled back to see Lucifer in his arms. “Oh shit.” He scrambled backwards, misjudging the distance to the edge of the nest and fell out onto the floor. Muttered cursing could be heard from below the bed as Dean thumped his head on the carpet in self rebuke.

“You okay there, Dean?” Lucifer asked, rolling over and peering over the side of the bed in curiosity and mild amusement.

Dean sat up, his face turning red as a beet. “I’m fine. I was dreaming and… Dude, I didn’t mean to… dammit.”

“It’s okay,” Lucifer soothed, looking down at him. “It happens, and when you’re sleeping I can see how I got mistaken for Castiel.”

“Yea, well. Still feel like an ass.” Clearing his throat, Dean rubbed a hand down his face and stood. “Sam awake yet?”

“No.” Lucifer said, giving a gentle smile.

Dean looked over his brother’s sleeping form curled up against Gabriel and nodded. “Well I’ll let him sleep and go make breakfast and find Cas. I didn’t get a chance to talk to him when we got home. Then I need to hit the books. That werewolf is still out there.” 

“He’s in the kitchen.” Lucifer supplied.

“Thanks Luci’, for helping Sam and well, not kicking my ass for dry humping you in my sleep.” He said with an embarrassed smile as he grabbed his shoes from the floor.

Lucifer laughed softly. “It’s fine, Dean. You were asleep and in a way, it’s flattering.” he said.

“Yea, well, I don’t think Sam would see it that way.” He headed towards the door and looked back. “Any special requests for breakfast?”

“That you shut the hell up about dry humping my brother.” Gabriel grumbled from his side of the nest. “I’m trying to sleep here.”

Lucifer chuckled and nuzzled into Sam again. “Not really Dean. Thanks, though.”

“Alright then.” Dean said briefly and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Gabriel sat up with a grumpy groan, scratching the top of his head. “Now I’m awake, dammit.”

“I’m sorry,” Lucifer mumbled.

“Don’t be. I didn’t need to sleep in any way.” Gabriel rubbed the sleep from his eyes and turned to look at his brother. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Lucifer admitted. “Not as good as before, but a hella lot better than after I healed him.”

“Good.” Gabriel brushed a bit of hair off of Sam’s face. “We almost lost him, didn’t we?”

Lucifer nodded and buried his face into Sam’s shoulder. “Yeah.”

“And you.” Gabriel glanced at his brother. “A healing shouldn’t have taken so much strength from you.”

“I know.” Lucifer agreed with a sigh. “I don’t know why it did. It just… fought. Fought harder than anything I’ve ever met.”

“That doesn’t sound very comforting.” Gabriel huffed.

“That’s because it’s not.” Sam mumbled into the pillow but did not try to move or open his eyes.

He kissed Sam’s cheek. “Hey how are you feeling?”

“Like I went out drinking and have a hangover from hell.” Sam groaned. “But I’m alive.”

Gabriel placed his hand on the side of Sam’s face and let his grace wash over the human, healing whatever traces of trauma were left in his body. “How’s that?”

Sam took deep breath and opened his eyes as the general aches and nausea disappeared. “Much better.” Sitting up, he rested his back against the headboard and looked at each of the angels. “What happened? Last thing I remember was Dean trying to patch me up.”

“You passed out Dean called me I did most of the healing and fell asleep.” Lucifer groaned nuzzling into his pillow.

Sam looked contrite but worried. “You fell asleep?”

“The infection was a fighter and stronger than I expected. And therefore I needed to recharge.” Lucifer groaned and stretched. “It was not a pleasant experience.”

“Infection? What infect…” Sam stopped speaking. At first he thought Lucifer was talking about a typical infection but then he realized he was talking about Lycanthropy. “I was turning.”

“Yes, you were. And can we take a moment to push home what we told you a few weeks ago?” Gabriel admonished as he turned so he could face the both of them. “About being careful?”

“Seriously, Sam, we’ve talked about it.” Lucifer admonished. “You need to be much more careful than you have been, especially with this last hunt.” He sat up and squinted at his boyfriend.

“I am careful. This one was different is all.” Sam tried to explain, dragging his fingers through his hair.

“Isn’t that what you said the last time you went on a hunt? That djinn hunt?” Lucifer asked with an arched eyebrow.

“And that turned out fine.” Sam huffed and crawled out of the nest. Crossing the room he pulled out dresser drawers for a change of clothes. “Sometimes things happen that are beyond my control.”

“Sam.” Lucifer said, getting out of the nest as well and walking over to him. “I get worried, that’s all. It triggers my protective instinct, not to mention that the time Gabriel and I have with you is finite. It’s limited. What… What if I couldn’t save you? What if you died?” His voice got sad, and he rested his head on Sam’s shoulder.

“Then I would have died.” Sam stated as a matter of fact. “I’m human. I live, I hunt and someday, I will die.”

“That’s very Buddist of you. But impermanence is a poor excuse for rushing in after a werewolf.” Gabriel raised his eyebrow at the two of them. “Especially one that could infect by scratch instead of bite.”

Lucifer nodded in agreement to Gabriel’s statement and held Sam close. “It nearly had you.” he whispered. “It was so close to having you, Sam.”

Sam turned in Lucifer’s hold and kissed his temple. “But I’m here now and I’m fine. Thanks to you.”

Lucifer nodded and sighed, burying his face into Sam’s neck, needing to reassure himself that Sam was okay, Sam was safe.

“Dammit, Samuel.” Gabriel growled. “You don’t get it do you? You damn near turned. Do you have any idea what it would do to us to have to… but you don’t care do you? You think you made peace with dying because you’re a big bad hunter.” He launched himself out of the nest and stormed over to Sam, hands balled into fists. “Well I haven’t. Lucifer hasn’t. And don’t get me started on what deals and tricks your brother would do to get you back.”

“Well gee, Gabe. Why don’t I let you and Luc’ put me in a little glass case that says break in case of horniness?” Sam snarled back and slowly backed out of Lucifer’s grasp. He was more affected by the events of the past 24 hours than he cared to really admit. It scared him… it really did, but he was so deeply entrenched in this life he couldn’t see any other path than the one he was on.

“Guys, could we please not fight?” Lucifer asked quietly, doubting he’ll be heard.

“We’re not fighting. I’m trying to pound some sense into him.” Gabriel said a little harshly, not directed at Lucifer, but still sharp.

Sam closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he’d finished, he took a deep breath. “I’m going to take a shower and when I get back, I don’t want to discuss this anymore.”

Lucifer nodded and headed back to the nest, not wanting to deal with the animosity filling the room at a rapid rate. He went almost like a puppy with its tail tucked between his legs.

The bedroom door clicked with a finality that shook Gabriel to the core. He stared at the space Sam had occupied before he picked up a framed picture of the three of them and hurled it across the room to shatter in a spray of glass. Squeezing his eyes shut, he turned and crumpled to the floor in front of the dresser and sobbed. Drawing his knees up and wrapping his tawny wings tightly around him, shielding him from the world.

Lucifer got up and made his way over to Gabriel. He knelt down by him and wrapped his baby brother in his arms, rocking him gently. “I know.” was all he said. No other words were needed. 

Gabriel opened his wings enough to take Lucifer into the embrace and held onto him as he let his fears and anger out in a torrent of tears. They stayed that way until Sam returned freshly showered. The hunter saw the glass shards on the floor and the angels curled up with each other.

“What happened?” He asked even though he had a fairly good idea what the answer would be.

Lucifer tried to shush Gabriel, and he looked up at Sam with soft eyes filled tears, rubbing his back as he did so. “Do I need to say anything?” He asked quietly.

“No.” Sam replied as he put his dirty clothes in the hamper. “You really don’t.”

Lucifer nodded and turned back to comforting his brother.

Sam glanced back at the two of them, his own heart aching but he had a duty they didn’t seem to understand. If he and Dean didn’t do what they did then who would? “If this is a way to get me to stop hunting, it won’t work.”

Gabriel’s breath stilled as he slowly raised his head to glare at Sam. “You think..?” He pulled back from Lucifer and dashed the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “Heylel, I have to.. I’m going back to heaven for a bit. Before I say something we’ll all regret.” Gabriel kissed his brother gently and disappeared without standing.

Sam turn sighed as he went about the task of cleaning up the broken picture.

Lucifer stood up, glaring at Sam. “Alright. Real talk.”

“Thought that was what we’d been doing since I woke up?” Sam huffed as he tossed the larger broken pieces into a trash can.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. “I don’t think it was that ‘real’, to be honest.” he informed him. “Sam. I don’t really think you understand what we feel whenever we see you hurt. When we see you passed out in the back of the Impala about to turn into a werewolf which I cannot heal, and neither can Gabriel.” He took a deep breath. “We understand that you have a job to do and believe me it’s a noble job. But we want you to understand we are fucking concerned when shit like this happens. And ALSO, to be quite frank, that was a low blow. We don’t want you to stop hunting that was a stupid thing to say. It’s not every day you see Gabriel break down into fucking tears and then you say that?! No wonder he got upset. That wasn’t cool, Sam and if that’s the way you honestly feel then you need to reevaluate us, because that’s not what we feel at all.” Hot tears slid down his face. He turned away and tried to hold himself together, needing to be the strong one, for once.

Sam stopped picking up glass and hung his head. He’d acted like an ass and he knew it. Knew it while it was happening and now everything was out of balance. Two angels upset over him, it was something hard for the human to really fathom, even after all this time. “It’s not.” He whispered. “I’ve faced death and been dead more times than any person should but this time.. I know what the reapers say about us. No more take backs or restarts. But I can’t stop being a hunter just because it’s dangerous or because it worries others.” He looked back at Lucifer. “I don’t even know how to be normal now if I tried. And in a way it’s comforting and terrifying all at the same time.”

Lucifer nodded and wrapped his arms around Sam. “We know and we understand. How do you think I feel all the time?” He murmured, kissing his cheek. “We want you to be more careful, that’s all. Not be so reckless. And that hurt Gabriel more than he’ll let us know. I don’t want to know what he was thinking last night after I healed you and needed to rest for the remainder of the night. And you were passed out before I even picked up the phone with Dean.”

“That’s the problem, Luc’, I wasn’t reckless. I’m getting older… slower.” Sam dropped his head to the side to rest on Lucifer’s shoulder. “And the monsters are getting.. worse. Changing and evolving. It’s not like it was before the cage and one of these days I’m not coming back. I know this and I’ve had to accept it.”

“There’s always something we can do to prolong that, though.” Lucifer whispered softly. “And honestly, I’d fight every reaper I could to bring you back, and you know it.” He rubbed Sam’s back. “It scares us. More than we can care to admit. Gabriel and I aren’t used to this. You know this. And then with me naming myself the protector? I tend to overreact to everything. You… You don’t know what it’s like. To know you’re gonna live forever and that the man you love is one day going to die. Its…. it’s painful.”

“So where does that leave us?” Sam asked, his voice low and tentative. Part of him always afraid that something would pull them apart and considering Winchesters’ hadn’t been all that lucky with relationships for nearly forty years he kind of expected it.

“Well, either Gabriel and I will have to make peace with it, or there’s another option, but I would have to talk to Gabriel about it.” Lucifer said. “But we’ll get through it. We always do.” He kissed Sam chastely. “I love you, Sam, and I want to savor every moment you’re alive and have you grow old.”

“Don’t forget senile.” Sam said with a hint of a grin. “Sitting on a porch forgetting what year it is and laughing at squirrels.”

Lucifer chuckled quietly and brushed his lips across Sam’s nose. “Yes. And when it’s time for you to go, Gabriel and I will bring you up to Heaven.”

“Not a bad retirement plan.” Sam took a long breath and sat up from Lucifer’s hold. “I’ll apologize to Gabriel when he gets back from wherever he flew off to.”

“Okay,” Lucifer whispered. “Now, why don’t you go get some breakfast, and I’ll finish cleaning up.”

“You sure? I’m kinda the cause of it and it wouldn’t seem right to leave you with the mess.” Sam asked as he surveyed the mess left to clean.

“It’s okay, I got it.” Lucifer said kindly. “Besides, a healing hunter needs their sustenance. I’ll get food later.”

“Alright.” Sam placed a gentle kiss on Lucifer’s lips and whispered against them. “I’m sorry I was an ass. I really do love you and didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I know.” Lucifer whispered back, stroking his cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. “I love you too.” He smiled.

Sam stood up with a grunt. “I’ll save you some bacon. Unless Dean ate it all.”

Lucifer smiled and let his human go before cleaning up the rest of the mess. He found a spare frame to put the picture in and he laid down on the bed to relax after everything that happened. His Grace was recharging still and that worried him.

**Author's Note:**

> Find Us on tumblr!!
> 
> mindylee- mindyleeb  
> Mrs_SimonTam_PHD- lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell


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